Neanderpundit

My daughter thought our next-door neighbor’s full name was “What is that idiot doing now?”

Thankfully he’s moved, but the family that replaced him has it’s own special set of weird.

Update, for clarity: my former next door neighbor was such a screaming cletus he spent all his waking hours doing stuff that was bound to end in a fistfight, a police visit, an Emergency room visit, or a ride in a hearse.

I’d be by the office window, looking through the venetian blinds, and the Ogwife would say “Whatcha looking at, babe?” and I’d say “What is that idiot doing now?” As often as not, it was something like, trying to light his cigarrette with the gas grill, or cooking hamburgers in the flame of the chiminea, or smoking while refuelling his lawnmower, or filling the kids kiddie pool one bucket of water at a time, when the hose was only six feet away, or- you know the drill. If you’ve seen it on AFV, Roger was gonna do it, sooner or later.

I have been unable to mow my back yard this year, until yesterday. The front yard was not so bad, but the back has to be pushmowed, and due to the rain it seems to have been growing in the vicinity of 4″ a week since about the beginning of April. There were places where the gone-to-seed grasses were two feet tall.

yesterday, in order to not DIE, I mowed small sections, then rested. I was down to the last section and the mower stopped.

See, I had temporarily bodged the safety cable. It was working, too! I knew that it wouldn’t last forever, but it decided to kink and fail in the last minutes of the mow. So I taped it up temporarily, and then the mower ran out of gas. I ran UP the hill and got some gas, and the mower started right up, I mowed another twenty feet, and the cable gave up the ghost forever.

I have ordered a new cable, but it’s taking it’s own sweet time showing up.

I figured I’d just wire tie it again, to get the job done, and so I ran up the hill and grabbed a wire tie just as the skies turned black. I ran back down the hill only to see multple snakes headed UP the hill! Shit, the SNAKES are abandoning ship. SO I push the mower up the hill, a section of grass less than 15 x 30 still unmowed, and cover the mower with a wheelbarrow. As I stand and turn around a softball sized groundhog runs right up my damned pantleg.

I immediately begin to freak out and do the “I have a groundhog up my pants” dance, one of the native dances of my people, and he drops and rolls, and I kick his little furry ass across the yard- whereupon he snarls and comes back hissing and growling at me. I’ve had about enough of his shit, and I brain him with the butt end of the BBQ tongs and use the hoe to fling his ass down the hill.

Today I wire tied the damned mower and finished the last little spot. Gonna go get some mulch and mulch some perennials in the frontyard, and then put some preen on the garden, and be happy that tomorrow is monday, futhuchrissakes.

I have with hot weather is not being able to wear nice socks.

Oh, I have good Made in USA cotton socks from Cabelas, but I LOVE wool socks. I love the feel of them, the way they feel inside my shoes, the thickness of them. If I wear them in the summer, my feet smell like a dead sheep. Dogs run up to me and try to roll in my shoes.

It’s gone from 88 (Yesterday) to 61 (today) so I’m wearing woolies to mass/breakfast. Might be my last chance this year.