Neanderpundit

Car pee

My ride to work is often fraught with strife
fools surround me in their trucks and cars
I never saw such stupid in my life
a leisurely commute’s not in my stars

So as I sit and stew in my commute
my bladder fills quite near to blowing up
my anger fills me with an urge to shoot,
my kidneys, with an urge to fill my cup

With coffee once removed and recen’tly used
a little bit of iced tea from last night
I know that I would be most heaven’ly soothed
but spilling in my car would be my fright

For if I had the dong to sit and piss
To not make porn I’d surely be remiss.

How about it, Eli? An Haiku on goats.

most caring and mild mannered person you know gets her tailfeathers in a bunch, you LISTEN.

Go. Listen.

Brigid writes an open letter to the occutards, and it’s dead nuts on target. You’re gonna want to read it. Because if you don’t, I’m gonna tie your eyelids open and make you watch me having conjugal relations with a carton of Luckys. And then I’m gonna make you smoke every one.

Cheese, really, is a product of decay
of bugs and mites and moldy, bloomy rinds
But with these gruesome facts I am OK
the subtle flavors therein that one finds.

On you, Son of Eli.