Neanderpundit

is the safety cable for a Craftsman pushmower.

See, the powers that be have decided that we’re all too fucking stupid to own mowers that can be- you know- on.

No, you have to hold down the special lever and pull the handle, and sometimes it starts. And when you’re mowing, it’s not much of an inconvenience other than the special lever pushes against one of the parts of your hand most likely to cause carpal tunnel issues.

No, it’s not a horrible inconvenience, unless it breaks. Then the mower is useless, because it cannot be operated without the safety.

Or so they think. I’mna finish mowing with a wire tie on it, effec tively making the mower dramatically less safe than before, because YOU HAVE TO ORDER PART #1659933, THEY ARE NOT AVAILABLE IN ANY OF THE LOCAL STORES THAT SELL LAWNMOWERS.

monkeys.

Multiple members of my immediate family have been struck by lightning at various points in their lives, and as a result, I’ve always been a bit drawn to thunderstorms. Like saturday evening, when I was standing on a metal ladder in crocs cleaning the gutters. Or saturday afternoon, when the Conex box I was in was apparently struck by lighning. (The person who was there with me claims to have peed himself a bit) (I myself very nearly became incontinent) the flash and bang were exactly coincident, and the lights went out, though there was still power.

There was about four inches of water almost everywhere, so neither of us felt it was a paricularly smart idea to go out to the post and reset the main breaker.

Nice that it was a conex box, though, because it was like a faraday cage; perfect place to be during a storm- just not entering or leaving. It’s particularly well grounded, maybe we ought to put a lightning rod on top, though.

And for those who did, and were broken all their lives,

and for those who came home and we have lost in our midst

Thank you.

I can ramble a lot about how much I appreciate what you did, but it would just feel trite. So thanks, and I’ll try to deserve your sacrifice. As a nation, we haven’t been doing so well, in that regard. Maybe I can do better as an individual.